I was inspired by a fellow Orlando Moms Blog contributor, Tracy, to just choose one word (or words in my case) to “guide and lead me through adventures of uncharted territories.” I chose ‘Get Uncomfortable‘. Click, take a look and see why.
I have been using this phrase, ‘Get Uncomfortable’, every day. I know words are powerful but I never knew repeating this ONE phrase when I was unsure of what to do or what step to take next, would push me in every aspect of my life. From pushing myself on a speed workout or tempo run, to pushing myself in keeping the lines of communication open with my family when all I really want to do is shut down…and sleep.
Last week, my oldest and I had a disagreement. She’s 5 (going on 25) and I’m 43. Both of us love to be right. Most days, I’m the parent and the other days, she thinks she is. It was a rough morning getting out of the house.
My patience was gone. I was wound up a bit tight and she needed more compassion and understanding than I had that morning. All I could think about was getting to school on time. The big kids were acting up in the car kicking the seat in front of them.
I ignored it…for a few minutes. I asked them to stop…a few times. Needless to say, they didn’t. We were at a red light and I turned around with anger in my eyes I said, STOP KICKING. I didn’t yell or raise my voice but there was not an ounce of love in my words.
They stopped. She started crying. Uncontrollably. I screwed up yet once again.
Thankfully, we were around the corner from school. I had to fix this. I couldn’t let her be angry or mad or sad all day at school.
We parked and I jumped in the back of the minivan. She wouldn’t look at me. She wouldn’t make eye contact or acknowledge my presence. She shut down…completely.
I said all the ‘right’ mother things but she wouldn’t budge. I grabbed her bag and out the car we went. Her teacher at the door said good morning and she didn’t respond. Into the classroom she went…
I drove to the other side of campus to drop off the three year old. All went well and I looked at the time…I had seven minutes before her class was to start. If my heart was aching, what was her heart feeling?!?
Go ‘Get Uncomfortable’ Kate!
I made it to her classroom with four minutes to spare. Unbuckled the baby and ran to her door. I asked her teacher if I could speak with her for just a minute. I walked into the class, she saw me and with the biggest smile on her face said “Mommy!” My heart started beating again, a lump formed in my throat and my eyes started to fill. I can’t remember the last time she called me mommy. Don’t blink. Don’t blink. Not here. Not now.
I walked over to her, got on my knees and gave her all the love I had and squeezed it into one hug. I whispered in her ear that I loved her with all my heart, to have her best day ever and to remember to have fun.
My baby girl was back. The love was in her eyes and and that smile was radiating the room. I don’t know if she was already over it. I don’t know if it was a distant memory for her. We never spoke of it again. All I do know is that I needed to get uncomfortable and make it right. My baby needed to know that I loved her regardless of what had happened.
As I left the classroom and buckled the baby back into the car seat, I blinked and all the tears came pouring out.
I know I’m not the first mom to say this but seriously…
Parenting is the toughest gig I’ve ever had.
How did you ‘Get Uncomfortable’ today?