I read an article a while ago, (when I only had one child and really didn’t have a clue) and it stated something about…cherish every moment with your children because you won’t be aware of the last time you rock them to sleep, swaddle them in a baby blanket, or feed them their last bottle. It just happens. I never gave much thought to that because I was sure I would remember everything. Ha! 4 years and 3 kids later, I’m remembering that article and feeling a bit sad.
I took the girls to the pumpkin patch to meet a friend. My husband was able to sneak away from the office to meet us too. Yippee!!! The girls were beyond ecstatic! My girlfriend immediately said, Let me take a family pic for you! I jumped at the chance, handed the baby to the hubby, whipped off my Ergo and sat on the bale of hay. He had the two younger ones on his lap and I asked the oldest to sit on my lap. She said no. She wanted to sit on the hay like a big girl. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, (chaos always surrounds 5 children, ages 4-4months) but as I look back at all the photos from today, I noticed my lap was empty. Its never empty. I, for the life of me, cannot remember the last time she sat on my lap. I know she gives out hugs sparingly and doesn’t always want to hold my hand but when was the last time she sat on my lap?
For today, I promise not to ask my babies to give me space. For today, I will embrace their hugs and kisses and messy hands. For today, I will love them with everything I’ve got and hold them close.
Beautiful the mess I am.
I have been doing a lot of cooking this week and its only Wednesday. It seems that when my anxiety is through the roof, I tend to skip my early morning bible study and when I skip my early morning bible study, I cook…alot. I start doubling recipes, stuffing them into a Ziploc and freezing them. While its awesome to be prepared and have a stocked freezer, I’m not focusing on whats really important… God and my family. That all hit me this morning when I was telling a girlfriend about the amazing Shepard’s Pie (my ultimate comfort food!) that I made last night. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Hmm… so here I am searching for comfort, so I make comfort food. When all along I should have searched for comfort from Him.
I was up early this morning and while the whole house slept, I did get about twenty minutes of study time in. Maybe that’s why I was able to see my previous actions so clearly. Maybe that’s what I needed. So I made the comfort food yesterday and found comfort from Him this morning. I do have to admit that my anxiety is at a much more controlled stated. There has been no yelling today and that’s a win for this house!
Did I receive the seed that fell on good soil? Today, I did.
“But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” Matthew 13:23
Click here for the delicious Shepard’s Pie recipe from Once A Month Meals.
Beautiful the mess I am,
My lil peanut has a fever, again. Third time since school started in August. I seriously thought we were past all this sickness with her. We had big plans this weekend. Festival parade tonight, festival tomorrow, kids mass ministry Sunday with one last stop at the festival. Praying for some quick healing!