The Last Time

I read an article a while ago, (when I only had one child and really didn’t have a clue) and it stated something about…cherish every moment with your children because you won’t be aware of the last time you rock them to sleep, swaddle them in a baby blanket, or feed them their last bottle. It just happens. I never gave much thought to that because I was sure I would remember everything. Ha! 4 years and 3 kids later, I’m remembering that article and feeling a bit sad.

I took the girls to the pumpkin patch to meet a friend. My husband was able to sneak away from the office to meet us too. Yippee!!! The girls were beyond ecstatic! My girlfriend immediately said, Let me take a family pic for you! I jumped at the chance, handed the baby to the hubby, whipped off my Ergo and sat on the bale of hay. He had the two younger ones on his lap and I asked the oldest to sit on my lap. She said no. She wanted to sit on the hay like a big girl. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, (chaos always surrounds 5 children, ages 4-4months) but as I look back at all the photos from today, I noticed my lap was empty. Its never empty. I, for the life of me, cannot remember the last time she sat on my lap. I know she gives out hugs sparingly and doesn’t always want to hold my hand but when was the last time she sat on my lap?

For today, I promise not to ask my babies to give me space. For today, I will embrace their hugs and kisses and messy hands. For today, I will love them with everything I’ve got and hold them close.


Beautiful the mess I am.


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